In his own words, Dave Devitt was “prematurely discharged after 34 months in treatment.” Spending a total of 33 years at MARR, first as a client and then as a staff member, Dave became one of MARR’s most storied and beloved counselors.

Dave is now living in McDonough on the Georgia National Golf Course with his wife Sandy. Dave also has a stepson named Jake. Dave and his wife also spends part of the year in North Port, Florida at Wellen Park Renaissance–a place that Dave notes is very near CoolToday Park, the spring training facility for the Atlanta Braves. 

What are some of the biggest lessons that you learned from your time at MARR as a staff member?

Over the course of 33 years, here are a few of the things I learned:

• Valid recovery cannot be coerced or legislated; it’s an invitation.
• Criticism – of any kind – is toxic. Only love and God can heal.
• Laughter is the best medicine for the troubled soul
• A principle articulated by M. Scott Peck: “Addiction is a spiritual disease; it requires a spiritual solution.”
• Recovery begins when the addict/alcoholic says it does. It will always be a clumsy beginning.
• Acceptance is the resolution to all personal distress.
• Trust the disease, not the diseased.
• Addicted people are just like non-addicted people–just more so.
• A good therapist knows what’s going on in the group. A great therapist knows what is going on with himself–and keeps that knowledge to himself while in the group.
• Don’t work or put more effort into a patient’s recovery than he does.
• Give yourself and others the right and the privilege to be wrong.
• If you’re in recovery, or trying to get there—remember there is nothing you’ve ever done that you can’t be forgiven for.
• “I don’t know” are powerfully therapeutic words.
• The only power we have is over our next choice. Nothing else counts.
• Mistakes will happen. The world, the universe, ourselves, and our lives are not subject to fairness or justice.
• Another quote from M. Scott Peck: “Life is difficult; it’s supposed to be”
• God is good, but not codependent.
• It is abusive to do for someone else that they are quite capable of doing for themselves.
• Kindness and civility to others are crucial to a therapeutic milieu, but not at the expense of 12 Step Principles.
• Addicted populations are smart people. Don’t talk down to them; don’t talk at them; don’t even talk to them. Just share your thoughts and feelings with them.
• A question like, “What the hell were you thinking?” is a valid inquiry.

What was it like for you to be part of such a tightly knit treatment team?

The MARR treatment model, from the provider perspective, was essentially a “multidisciplinary structure.” Across the years and to varying levels, the team was comprised of folks who came to MARR from several different disciplines. For example, we had people with backgrounds in Social Work, Divinity School, Psychology, and Mental Health. We would convene and muddle around with each member voicing their perspectives for treating each individual in treatment.

Sometimes these were quietly focused chats, and other times not so quiet. Sometimes there was unanimity. Sometimes there were competing concepts. Each patient was their own subject of a discussion. It didn’t matter whether the issue was therapeutic leave, treatment progress, movement from one phase to another, or a variety of disciplinary issues. The more we met, the more we muddled.

Yet because each member loved and cared for each patient’s well-being and spiritual progress, we would eventually arrive at some sort of tentative agreement that seemed to benefit the patient. It wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t graceful. But as a group with diverse styles and theories, we stayed faithful to trusting the process and trusting God.

Each one of us could stink up the room at any given time. We weren’t a smooth fluid team running always successful schematics like the Clemson Tigers running a “third and Renfro out route to the chains.” But we muddled through. The patients, who seldom agreed with our findings, most of the time knew they were loved and valued! We had to trust the process and trust God. It was just like making sausage!

What would you pass on to someone who is new in the field?

            I came to MARR to learn how to imperfectly love and care for the imperfect individuals that comprised our case load! I never had a job at MARR; I had an opportunity to help, if the patients could tolerate my imperfections and ineptitudes! 

            I learned how to give and receive love and spiritual support! I learned how to love. I learned how to live. I learned how to give and learned how to receive. In the process, I learned how to love living!

Also, see answers to Question 1

What was it about MARR that kept you here for so many years?

LOVE. MARR gave me a steady supply of folks I could serve and love. I tried to love the Men’s Recovery Center patients the same way that MARR loved me before I was prematurely discharged after 34 months in treatment! Thank you, Matt Shedd, for allowing me to share my thoughts with the MARR community.