by Trey Miller, MARR Alumni 2006

Hello, my name is Trey Miller and I am an alcoholic and a drug addict.  I know that my sentiments are shared by literally thousands of MARR alumni when I say, "MARR saved my life".  My long time addiction to alcohol, marijuana and crack cocaine was devastating, not only to myself, but to everyone whose life I touched.  

From the time I began drinking at age 21 (I know, I started late), I was on a mission to ensure that MY desires and MY wants came first.  I was able for years to live a double life, and became an expert at lying and appearing to be "okay".  I had a great family, held good jobs, got married, bought a house, and by all measures of society I was doing well.  The reality was that inside, I was a shallow and sick person.  I could seem generous and caring on the outside, but only when it rewarded my ego or in some way I could benefit from it. My drinking and drug use escalated after I was married, and the evidence of my deep-seated character defects surfaced in very unpleasant ways.  I began to spend all of our money on my addiction, and our bills fell behind.  When I lost my job because of my "attendance problem", my addiction took off.  I sank deeper into the dark world of addiction.   My wife and family were afraid for my life and didn't know where to turn.  A friend of the family who was an alumnus recommended MARR.  After much pleading from my family, I finally gave in and went to see Larry Jenkins at MARR South.  I was high at the meeting and he told my family they would probably go to my funeral.  He was very close to being right.

I checked into MARR in August of 2004, for the 90 day program.  I made it 89 1/2 days.  I got a great education, but didn't apply anything to my life and relapsed the night I left.  I thought I had hit bottom, but instead needed about 7 more months of pain.  I remembered seeing the driftwood at Camp Donnie Brown with the plaque that read "I wish you all the pain you can stand".  I soon came to understand what that meant.  My wife filed for divorce, my house fell into foreclosure and my family had learned from the MARR family program to stop enabling me.  I cut my wrist in attempt to end the pain, but God had a different plan for me.  He led me back to MARR and this time things would be different - they had to be.  I became teachable and grateful for the second chance at life, but I still had a long way to go.  Tommy, Bill, Pat, Dave, and Doug had their hands full.  They taught me how to live life with humility, boundaries, structure, and acceptance.  They also taught me the meaning of the word "No", and how to make my bed every single day.   I went through a divorce and a bankruptcy while in MARR, and I could've never survived without the love and the support of the counselors and my community.  The power and reality of God's grace was shown to me, and I saw miracles occur in the lives of others as well.  My sponsor took me through the 12 Steps and then helped me get my first sponsee.  I went from being "helpless" to helping others.  I experienced a true personality change that was sufficient to overcome my addiction.  From there the healing of damaged relationships with my family began.  I went into the 3/4 program, and left MARR in mid 2006.

Since then, I have remained connected to MARR as much as possible.  I continue to attend my original MARR spiritual life group, and am an active member of the MARR Alumni Association.  Currently, I serve as the Technology & Communication Committee chairman, and also as the Secretary. I love being involved with the Alumni Association because it gives me a “front row seat” to watch the miracle of healing and recovery in the lives of the current and former patients. We sponsor several events throughout the year, and each one provides an opportunity to be of service to others (which is the key to self esteem, humility, and carrying out God’s will). Alumni, outside volunteers, family members, and even people in other programs benefit from participating in alumni sponsored events. One event that is special to my heart is the MARR Night Out at the Georgia Aquarium. It is amazing each year to watch God working through people to help those who are in need. Generous donors provide the opportunity for those who couldn’t otherwise afford it, to bring their children to experience a night out at the Georgia Aquarium. For some, it is their first family outing in sobriety – what a miracle to see!

As an officer in the Alumni Association, I was asked to attend the Volunteer Training program. I thought I knew everything about MARR, but boy was I wrong! It was there that I learned more about the Right Side Up program for women with children. As part of that program the women prepare to enter the workforce, and I saw a need for computer skills training. Ruby and Shirley helped the idea take shape, and in September of this year, the computer skills training class began. So far, several of the residents have been able to improve typing skills, learn how to use Microsoft Office, and even advanced formulas for budgeting in Excel. Working with RSU was a blessing I never expected, but the real blessing came from attending their commencement ceremony and watching these ladies go from the depths of addiction to the success of recovery.

Why do I give back? The answer is simple: God has blessed me in immeasurable ways, and service work is how God works through me to spread those blessings to others. MARR and AA taught me the value of living a completely different way of life than when I was in my addiction. In addiction, I derived my joy from isolating and focusing only on myself, so in recovery I find fulfillment in integrating and being of service to others. It is our new way of life – and I learned it from my MARR counselors and the people in my MARR community. God has blessed me with great teachers, true friends, and also with a beautiful wife and child who have never seen me intoxicated. I meet each day's challenges using the things I learned in MARR and continue to learn in AA……and I still make my bed every single day. Life is good.

Thank you MARR!